Friday, June 6, 2025

Be in the Pictures: "This isn't about you"

Last year, I took a lovely trip with my sister to one of her favorite places on earth.  Because it's a beach, it's automatically one of my favorite places, too, even though I'd never been there before.

One day, we were on a small ferry to an island where one of the ferry employees offered to take our picture.  We said, "Sure!" as we laughed a little about our very, very windblown hair.  

She took the picture and then told us a very short story that has become one of my favorite stories about pictures.

The Story:  This Isn't About You

She told us that her daughter recently wanted to take a photo of her, but she declined because she didn't think she look very good that day.  

Her daughter said, “This isn’t about you.  It’s about when you’re dead so that I have pictures of you to look at."

We laughed, mostly at the bluntness of the statement, but I really appreciated the reason behind the argument.  

Eventually, photos and videos and maybe even some audio recordings will be all we have left of someone special.

When we had this photo taken on the ferry, neither of us were trying to be a part of a beauty contest or have something airbrushed to make us look ten years younger.  (Why do we do that?!  Age is something to be proud of because we've earned it!)

We were just enjoying time together as sisters in a beautiful place where we had a completely delightful time.  Together.  And, hello, there were wild horses on that island behind us!! 

Just Do It

Just do it.  Be in the pictures.  Don't worry about if your hair is everywhere or you have wrinkles or gray hair ("sparkles") or if your eyelids are heavier than they used to be.  Guess what.  This is what I looked like at 52.  And this is something great that I did when I was 52.  So I should have some pictures of it!

It's about the moment, not about some ridiculous ideal that nobody can really live up to.  


I know it can be hard to get over ourselves in this world so focused on appearances, but to the people you matter the most to, they don't see anything but YOU.  The person they love.

The Two-Part Challenge

This is hard for most of us, I know.  This two-part challenge is for me too (although I've nailed part 2!)  

PART 1:  Look beyond appearances to the MOMENT and what's MEANINGFUL in a photo!  Look at the memories.  Begin to see something you'll cherish 5 or 25 years from now.  See something that those who love you will cherish even beyond that.

PART 2:  Celebrate memories.  Share your pictures.  Get them off your phone!  They don't get seen there.  Shared photos and memories and stories make life meaningful and have a whole host of personal and interpersonal benefits like these.


Then, get started preserving and sharing them in pages.  It doesn't have to be hard or complicated.  There are two different options at that link to fit your time and interest, and both of them are printed in highest quality bindings, papers, and inks to last generations.

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20 comments:

  1. Your post is really good. I'm almost never in vacation photos because I don't care for how I without prep, (i.e. in the moment). My daughter always says "you're my mom" and takes a photo anyway. I'm going to ponder your post...

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    1. Thank you, Jeanne! I'm really glad this post gave you something to think about it. :) I love what your daughter says: "You're my mom!" Perfect. Thanks for stopping in and for sharing your thoughts here with us!

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  2. Such a good post. Women especially tend to be photographed the least because we're always the one taking the photos. I often hand my phone to someone else in the family and say "ok, you guys take my photo now so you'll know I was alive." ha ha

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    1. Ha! I love that, Amy! I'm glad you do that. :) I get in pictures a lot more now that selfies are possible and also now that my daughter who is a picture taker is grown. But I have family videos from years ago that I'm NEVER in--you just hear my voice. It really is important to know that we "were alive"! Thank you--I'm so glad you enjoyed this post.

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  3. Ugh--this post was for me, I'm sure. ha. I am so picky about how I look in pictures. And the older I get, the pickier I am, which is a shame. The past few years I've tried to be more accepting of how I look in them because I know you're right; it isn't about my appearance but about the memory that is created. So I do take a lot more selfies now with my grandson and my husband, etc., because I want them to remember that I was present and enjoying their company. :) (But I will still delete a particularly unflattering one. ha) So glad you shared your windblown photo! Beautiful!

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    1. Thank you, Lisa! I love this. I'm the same way--I definitely delete the unflattering ones. And it's definitely an effort to not focus so much on what it looks like but that I was there (or with someone, or celebrating something, etc.). And I'm glad you enjoyed my windblown photo. :) Thanks for stopping in and for sharing your thoughts with us!

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  4. Such good advice, Jennifer! I know that I, too, am guilty of this... being the one to take the photo instead of being in it. I've come to realize though how important my presence, including in print, is, especially as I ow treasure every photo I have of my own parents! Thanks for another thoughtful post!

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    1. Thank you, Laura! So glad you enjoyed the post. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experience with us! I'm the same way--my mom passed on almost 10 years ago, and what we have now of her IS pictures. It matters so much more than we often realize. Thanks for your kind words, too. :)

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  5. As someone who hates her photo being taken, this was to good for me to see, LOL!

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  6. I am getting so much better at this; but I do wish I had been in lots more photos from when my boys were young.

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  7. Great post Jennifer. I have been guilty of that. Taking more photos is so important. I am happy to feature your post at Love Your Creativity.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. It's a shift in mindset, for sure. And an extra thanks for featuring this post at your lovely linkup! I'm thrilled to hear it. :)

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  8. Congratulations, your post will be featured this Monday at SSPS 365 Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Wonderful news, Esme! Thanks so much for featuring this post on your lovely linkup. I'm so glad you enjoyed this post, and I hope your readers will as well. :)

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  9. Jennifer, great post, and a great reminder to get in those pictures even when we put up a fuss about being in them at times.

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    1. Thanks, Stephanie. Yes, it really is important to remember--especially with such an inundation of pictures these days--that it's important for us to be IN them.

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