The activities I mentioned
need to be repeated– as well they should –to develop family connections, but
it’s also helpful to scatter opportunities around your home and among family
members that can be gone back to again and again. There is a whole wealth of products just waiting to be used to increase family connections!
A
lot of research has been done on {the effects of family stories on kids}. Kids who
know their family’s history and heritage have better coping skills, higher
self-esteem, lower rates of depression and anxiety, greater empathy, and more
resilience. Interestingly, the family stories don’t even need to be about
a big event to make a difference. Stories about perseverance, overcoming
hardship, learning to laugh, and working toward a goal make a big difference to
children. Finding avenues, then, to tell your family’s stories, is well
worth the search.
You
might remember when I shared {Four Creative Ideas for Sharing Family Stories} last
year. I suggested storybooks, playing card decks,
family cookbooks, and everyday reminders like wall canvases that can be seen
every day. These remain some of my favorite products
for creating family connections. Items that family members can see, pick
up, or play with help form connections while educating them about their family
on the sly. To see those fun products again, just click the link.
Most
people don’t think their own story is a very big deal. Writing your life
experience, though, has tremendous potential– it can not only help you {“know thyself,”} it can make you more real and more
approachable and accessible to other family members, especially kids.
When kids know that grandma and grandpa went on dates, or that mom got a
scholarship or struggled in school, or that dad had a super crazy hair style
when he was 15, those kids connect. They see the adults in their lives as
real people. They can recognize things they have in common with those
adults, or things they can appreciate.
Some
of my favorite products for this purpose are “Before I Was” storybooks. It shows kids that Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa was a baby and a teenager and had hobbies and summer jobs and first dates,
all before the kids knew her/him. It gives life (and context) to the adults in kids' lives.
Don’t
worry if you’re not sure how to start writing your story. There are lots
and lots of resources, including this article, {“Questions to Help Write a Life Story.”} I really
love the experience of Grandpa Wozney there because it shows that every story
is worth telling because every story is precious to someone.
{Personal messages} are also a great method for creating
family connections. Telling someone what you love about him/her and what
qualities you enjoy or admire in him/her go a very long way, for both adults
and kids. Making a simple list in a card or notebook is lovely, and so
is publishing it in a book that can be pulled out again and again, like these.
While
the books, canvases, family games, and things that are for everyone in the
family that I have mentioned so far help really create connections among family
members, something uniquely personal packs an extra punch. Not only have
you encouraged and lifted another person in the family but you have also
clearly gone to some effort to make sure he/she knows. It’s more than
just, “Great job, buddy.” It’s thoughtful and is obviously something that
you intend to have great meaning for that person. And it will show.
Sometimes
creating connections happens without us even noticing. Sometimes creating
connections requires a little creative orchestration. These family
connection-creating products can be gifted for special occasions, of course,
but they can be created and shared just because your family needs
it.
And
what better reason can there be?
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This
post was originally published at www.livegrowgive.org on February 16, 2018,
by Jennifer Wise. Read more #familyhistoryfriday posts by clicking the hashtag below next to Labels.
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